


Something's gotta give

by plantboycharms



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged Up, All of these chapters are gonna be inspired by a song by Lauv, Bondage, Drinking, Friends to Lovers, GET IT, Holding Hands, I kinda want to put, Kinda?, Light BDSM, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, OkAy upping the rating for some uhhhh, Orgasm Control, Overthinking, Panic, Panic Attacks, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, all at once mind you, anyway, because I love lauv, blowjob, but that doesnt seem quite right, college fic, no promises this is gonna be a happy ending, oh right, probably, sorry mom, tbfh, theyre older now i swear, we'll see where it goes i guess, what else is there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:44:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15399168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantboycharms/pseuds/plantboycharms
Summary: He hadn't thought about that particular tall blond in ages. But now he was, really, really, thinking about him. All the time.Or, Kuroo realizes some things, realizes some more things, makes some mistakes, fixes them, and life moves along. For better or worse.





	1. Paris in the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter is gonna get a song. Listen to it, or don't, I don't mind.
> 
> I know it's been a million years since I've written anything (and yes, I know, I'm supposed to be writing more of Angel Eyes, but I think I'm putting that off until NaNoWriMo) so here. Take some KuroTsuki.   
> I'm foreseeing most of the chapters to be much much shorter than this one but you know how exposition is.   
> Anyway, enjoy!

He hadn't thought much about the blond blocker since their drunken hookup after his last match in high school. It had just been two hormonal, vodka-fueled teenagers fighting for dominance off the court that they had just left, angry and scratching and panting. Hot, hot, sweating out of their skin and almost more intent on hurting than pleasuring the other. Kuroo liked that kind of sex, it was more fun for him if he had to work for it, and not a lot of people could stand up to him. But Tsukishima could, and did, hold his own. Kuroo liked that, but it seemed like Tsukishima didn't, as he'd left just after cleaning up with a grunted “congrats on today's win” and let the door close before Kuroo could drawl “out there or in here?” 

But there he was, two years later, leaned against the wall at Hinata Shouyou's graduation party, sipping something from a red Solo cup and looking very unimpressed by the party. Kenma, who had dragged Kuroo to the party in the first place, noticed him staring.  
“That's Tsukishima, isn't it?” Kenma asked, gold eyes peeking up from under their black hair.  
“Mm” Kuroo acknowledged, not looking away.  
“He came all the way out here for Shouyou's party?” Kenma looked surprised, but blinked it away.  
“I’m guessing the whole team did.” Kuroo responded, gesturing at the clump of men by the drinks table with his head. “They even have Daichi and Sugawara, looks like.”  
Kenma took a slow breath. “When Shouyou asked me too help him find a party venue in the city I didn't expect it to be this big. I mean, why would they all come all the way to Tokyo just for high school graduation anyway?”  
Kuroo shrugged. “Shorty makes friends easily. Everyone likes him. They're probably sad that he and his grumpy old setter are going to college here. Are you gonna go say hi to him? Or stand here by the door the whole time?”  
Kenma glanced back at the door, as if the option of a quick getaway was one they didn't quite want to give up, but took a step towards the middle of the room where the tiny redhead was jumping up and down, animatedly yelling a story at Kageyama and the tiny blonde manager girl that Kuroo could never remember the name of. 

Kuroo walked to the drinks table, filling a cup with ice and splashing raspberry vodka over it before pouring some lemonade in on top and swirling it around in the cup. It wasn't as good as the drinks he made at work, but nothing Chibi-chan had was any good, and a bartender makes do with what they have. 

After glancing over to make sure his best friend was okay, hearing the “wow Kenma, your hair has gotten so long!” shouted from across the room and over the shitty pop that Tanaka, the bald one, was playing, Kuroo sidled over to where the tall blond was leaning against the wall and took up a similar position next to him. 

“Not gonna lie, I'm a little surprised to see you here. Aren't you and Shorty over there, like, enemies?” Kuroo drawled, watching the side of Tsukishima's face as it twitched in annoyance.  
“We were teammates for three years, is that not enough for me to go to his parties?” He bit back, not taking his eyes off the scene in front of them.  
“You tell me” Kuroo smirked, taking a sip of his drink.  
Tsukishima snorted a little. “Fine. Yamaguchi wanted to come, and someone has to make sure he makes it out alive. Boy doesn't know his alcohol limits.”  
“So you're babysitting.” Kuroo turned back to the party, realizing he was pretty much there for the same reason as he said it. He was very often Kenma's scapegoat, their excuse to leave because Kenma couldn't stand up for themself.  
“As if you're doing anything different.” Tsukishima gave him a sideways glance as he said it, and Kuroo caught him this time. 

“And if I am?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow.  
Tsukishima held his gaze for a moment longer, then let his eyes wander over Kuroo’s face. He took a long sip from his cup, then winced.  
“Then you're not drunk enough.”  
Kuroo laughed, loud and rambunctious.  
“You’re right, you're right. And neither are you.” He downed a good amount of his drink in one go, suppressing the cough that followed the bite of the vodka. “And you're not going to be, if you keep trying to drink whatever that is. What did you put in there?”  
Tsukishima scowled. “I don't know, whatever shit Stupid bought for this lame party. Rum and coke, I guess.” He looked away, annoyance flashing over his face, and took another long drink from the cup. 

Kuroo pushed off of the wall and took the drink out of Tsukishima’s hand, replacing it with his own and downing what was left of the rum and coke.  
“That was pretty awful, not gonna lie. Drink that instead, I'll be back.” Kuroo said, winking at the stunned expression on the blond’s face and taking one step backwards before whipping around to saunter off to the drinks table again. Filling another cup with ice and mostly lemonade, with a tiny splash of the rum he unearthed from behind the Coke, he swirled it around and brought it to his slightly-uncomfortable looking best friend.  
“Drink up, Kenma. It's a party!” He boomed, winking at the rest of the group at large before leaning in to their ear and whispering “it's only got a tiny bit of alcohol, but it'll keep them off your back for as long as you can keep sipping.” Kenma murmured gratitude while Kuroo retreated back to the drinks table. He grabbed two more cups and set to making the strongest, least alcoholic tasting drinks he could with the mish-mash of random alcohols and mixers Hinata had gathered. 

“This is better,” he announced, depositing one of the drinks into Tsukishima's free hand. “Drink the rest of that, or don't, but get rid of it. It's an embarrassment.”  
Tsukishima laughed, and Kuroo blinked a little at it. Had he ever heard him laugh like that? No mirth, no coldness behind it. Tsukishima tipped the vodka lemonade back, finishing it and wincing.  
“Yeah, not great either.” He teased. Kuroo snorted.  
“I'd like to see you bartend a Hinata Shouyou party. Has he ever even had alcohol before?” Tsukishima laughed again. “Anyway, drink that instead, and don't be too critical, I'm sensitive.” Kuroo sipped his own, almost impressed by his own creativity, leaning a shoulder against the wall to watch the younger take a sip of his own. 

“It's good. Do you have to watch me?” Tsukishima asked dryly.  
“I don't have to, no.” Kuroo responded, not moving or taking his eyes off of him. Tsukishima held his gaze for a moment, something incomprehensible in his eyes. Then he turned back to the party, clearly seeking his freckled best friend.  
“To the left, talking to tiny blondie.” Kuroo provided. She was perched on the edge of the couch, and Yamaguchi was standing next to her. They were chatting animatedly, and Yamaguchi had a slight alcohol flush despite neither of them holding drinks.  
“Good” Tsukishima sighed slightly. “She doesn't really drink, so if they're talking, he won't either.”

 

“Maybe we don't need to supervise the whole time…” Kuroo mused. “I know a place just down the street. We could be back before the party starts to wrap up. Have some actual fun for once.”

“Why would I go anywhere with you? Why would you want to go anywhere with me?” Tsukishima asked, no inflection on his voice at all, not looking away from the scene by the couch.  
“Because we're in a similar boat, and this music fucking sucks.” Kuroo finished his drink in another swallow and snagged the empty cup from his last drink that Tsukishima had left on the floor. “Coming?”  
The blond blinked from behind his glasses, then pushed off the wall and chugged the rest of his drink too. “Fine. Yeah. Okay.”  
“Wait, really?” Kuroo said, reaching out unconsciously for the empty cup.  
“Yeah, whatever. Might as well.” Tsukishima handed the cup to him, seemingly not thinking about it.  
“Well, shit, alright.” He really hadn’t expected the grumpy teen to say yes, if he was being honest. Now he had to think of somewhere to take him.  
Luckily, they were in the middle of Tokyo. Places to take someone from Miyagi were around every corner, even if most of the cool stores were already closed. Night life was busy around here. 

They walked out, Kuroo dropping the cups into a trash bag on the way out. Tsukishima didn’t glance back, but Kuroo did, just in case. He was only spotted by the tiny blonde, who blinked huge brown eyes at him once as he turned the corner after Tsukishima. They wouldn’t be missed, he thought to himself. Nobody would notice. 

Catching up to Tsukishima was easy. They kept a good pace with each other, fairly evenly matched in height, and conversation was easy. The alcohol made Kuroo feel softer around the edges, and he was bolder than he usually would, taking Tsukishima’s hand in his as he dragged him over to a bridge over a canal. The air was warm, and humid, but he didn’t drop Tsukishima’s hand as they looked out over the water. Tsukishima didn’t pull away, either, so they leaned on the railing and talked about something, anything, whatever it was. Conversation was surprisingly easy, the blond sassing back when Kuroo got too cocky, his sarcasm quick but harmless. They watched the water, or more accurately, Tsukishima watched the water and Kuroo watched Tsukishima watch the water. 

“So this is where you wanted to take me? All of Tokyo, and the quote cool place you know is a canal? You know we have these in Miyagi, right?” Tsukishima finally turned back to look at Kuroo, grinning at him as if to tell him that his sass was just that, sass.  
“I’m not the one who got all caught up in staring at the water, four-eyes.” Kuroo shrugged and pulled him down the way again, down a brightly lit street that was bustling with activity. Despite the people all around them, Kuroo felt somehow closer to Tsukishima, like it was just the two of them wandering the streets.  
“There’s a bar here I sometimes bartend at when I get shit hours from my regular job” he explained, still not loosening his grip on the other’s hand. Tsukishima hmmed softly, but didn’t protest as Kuroo pulled them inside. 

A tall table in the corner and two drinks later, Kuroo tore his eyes away from the other’s face to look out the window and swallow.  
“When did he tell you, then?”  
“What?” Tsukishima was staring at Kuroo, he could feel it, but he didn’t look back.  
“Yamaguchi. When did he tell you?” He repeated, turning his eyes back just in time for the blond to blink and turn away.  
“When I came out to him. ‘Wow, Tsukki! Thanks for telling me!’ but that was all. I think he’s had a thing for Yachi since the start, which is fine. Makes things simpler between us, I guess. He’s my best friend, and I’m just… Tsukki.” He rolled his eyes at the nickname. “What about you?”  
Kuroo had almost expected to have his own question turned on him, but the alcohol was slowing his thoughts, dulling his nerves, lowering his inhibitions. He could tell Tsukishima, who cared?  
“Kenma’s ace. No sex for them. They’ve got some kind of thing going on with sunshine boy, even though shrimpy is definitely with Kageyama. They tried to explain it once, but it didn’t make sense. I don’t mind, I’m just scared they’ll get hurt in the long run, y’know?”  
Tsukishima hummed again, looking out the windows to the streets. 

“This place is lame. Wanna get out of here?” Kuroo said, eager to change the subject (and maybe to get shoulder to shoulder with the boy sitting unfortunately far away from him).  
“You say you know somewhere cool and take me to two lame places in a row. What else are you lying about?” Tsukishima said, sliding off his stool and waiting for Kuroo to do the same.  
“Ah, wouldn’t you like to know?” Kuroo winked, bumping his shoulder into the blond’s as they set out together.  
“You’ll tell me eventually” Tsukishima gave him a sideways glance, smirking a little. There was intention there, an undertone that Kuroo intended to figure out.  
“Make me.” he challenged, and suddenly his back was against the wall and the blond was much, much closer than he expected to his face. The heat from his body radiated against Kuroo, who blinked as he took in the slightly sweet smell of the drink Tsukishima had just finished.  
“You really think that extra centimeter makes you better than me, huh?” Kuroo teased, sliding a hand around Tsukishima’s waist and pulling him closer. Their bodies were almost flush now, and Kuroo was feeling warm all over.  
“Yeah, because it does.” Tsukishima leaned in even closer, and Kuroo closed his eyes as his breath fanned over his face.  
“Hmm.” Kuroo kept his eyes closed, tilting his chin up just the slightest bit. “Is that so.” 

And then an obnoxious, shrill ringing filled the air, making him jerk back and almost hit his head on the wall in surprise.  
“Fuck!” Tsukishima cursed, pulling his phone from his back pocket and swiping the call open. “What, Yamaguchi.” He bit out. Kuroo couldn’t hear the “Sorry, Tsukki!” coming from the phone, but he did hear it in his head. Yamaguchi hadn’t really changed. “Yeah, we’re coming back now. Stay with Yachi until she gets a ride.”  
He shoved his phone back into his pocket, glaring at the floor for a moment.  
“Mom’s coming home soon, better get back to the kids, right?” Kuroo joked, reaching for his own phone and wincing at the 17 unread texts from Kenma. “Let’s take the scenic route back.” 

They didn’t talk, but Kuroo grabbed Tsukishima’s hand to lead him down a small street, and, like the last time, Tsukishima neither protested nor pulled back. Their silence was comfortable, and Kuroo didn’t break it, opting to let his… friend? take in the sights. It wasn’t glamorous, but somehow the streets felt more interesting when seen with him.  
And that was a terrible thought to have. 

Hinata jumped at Kuroo, throwing his arms around him with a “Where were you! We missed you!” as they approached the venue he’d rented out for the party. They were all congregated outside, waiting for cabs and ubers to their various hotels.  
“Just a walk, shorty. Party was fun!” Kuroo ruffled his hair, letting him unwind his legs from around his waist before taking a step closer to Kenma, who was moving slowly towards him. They tucked themself under his arm. Hinata was babbling on about something Kageyama said, and the rest of the group was buzzing on about the party, but Kuroo was grounded by the tiny body pressed against his side, and the gaze of the tall blond next to him. 

“Where’s Yamaguchi? Did he call you a ride, or are you close enough to walk?” Kuroo asked casually.  
“We’re waiting. Hotel’s not far, but he’s a little too messed up.” Tsukishima had disappointment lacing his voice, and Kuroo tried not to think about why.  
“Well, we’re right down the way, so we’re gonna walk.” He gestured to the tiny form next to him. “They’re worn out. You have my number?”  
Tsukishima shook his head.  
Kuroo blinked. He was so sure he had given it to him, just before they had… gotten intimate, three years ago.  
Maybe that was why he’d never gotten a text back. 

He didn’t want to think about that either.  
“Give me your phone, then.” and he typed it in, careful not to miss a digit this time.  
“Text me if you’re free again this weekend. I had fun.” Kuroo winked, throwing his signature smolder towards Tsukishima as he walked away. “Bye, shorty. Good party. See y’all around.”  
“Bye, Shouyou.” Kenma mumbled as Kuroo steered him away.  
“See you tomorrow, Kenma!!” Hinata shouted, jumping up and almost hitting Kageyama in the face.  
The last thing Kuroo saw as he walked around the corner, Kenma in tow, was the strange expression on Tsukishima’s face as he watched them go. 

But he didn’t want to think about that, either.


	2. I Like Me Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Like Me Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go

It turned out that Tsukishima had been accepted to the same University that Hinata and Kageyama had. He told Kuroo, grumpily staring out at the park they were sitting in, that they were moving into the same apartment complex. “It's the cheapest one in the area, and I guess a lot of students end up there. We're on different floors, thank God.” Yamaguchi was coming too, but he hadn't applied for University. He was going to take a job at a child care facility in the area, working with Suga, and going for his teaching credentials later. More of the Karasuno squad than expected had ended up in their area, which Kuroo guessed shouldn’t have surprised him as much as it did. The universities in this area were good, and more importantly, massive, with lots and lots of majors available. Not to think poorly of Miyagi, but there was a lot… less… going on there. 

Kuroo found all of this out two weeks after the night of the party. The two hadn’t expected to see each other, Kuroo had thought, when he showed up to help Hinata and Kageyama move their things into their apartment and found a yawning Yamaguchi and scowling Tsukishima in tow. “It was cheaper to move everything together, didn’t I say?” Hinata had asked, hopping down from the back of the small moving truck and rushing forward to hug Kenma, who had expressed surprise at seeing four people’s worth of clothing and furniture instead of just two.   
“No, Shouyou, you didn’t. But it’s okay.” Kenma replied, holding very still as they waited for Hinata to let them go. Kuroo laughed at their patient facial expression, then stepped closer to the truck. 

“Best get to it, then, so we can get on to eating.” he grabbed some small bags and stepped towards the front door, suddenly realizing he didn’t know whose things were whose. “Uh… who belongs to these bags? Or… who do these bags belong to. Whatever. Where am I going?” Hinata laughed, and Yamaguchi jumped forward nervously.   
“Those are mine, I can… well… help?”   
“Just show me the way, and bring something with you. It’s gonna be a lot of trips either way.” Kuroo gestured to the truck with his head, and Yamaguchi rushed to grab a trash bag full of clothes and his keys. 

“Okay we’re… where are we again, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi dithered for a moment, looking up to Tsukishima for guidance.   
“First floor, left hallway. Don’t get lost already, idiot.” He sounded uncomfortable, or something like that, and Kuroo thought hard on why. Was it because he was here?  
“Sorry, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi chirped, and wandered off. Kuroo stared at the back of Tsukishima’s head as he reached into the truck, then jolted into action as he turned back around. He followed Yamaguchi to the tiny apartment, propping the door open with one of the smaller bags, and dropping the rest of them in the middle of the room. “You can organize as I bring stuff in, or later, but we have lots to move.”   
“Fine by me.” Yamaguchi squeaked. “Thanks”   
It was clear he was still a little scared of Kuroo, now that they were alone in a room together.   
“No problem.” He cracked a smile, trying his hardest to look approachable. It worked, apparently, because Yamaguchi’s shoulders loosened a little bit as he sighed and smiled back.

Brushing shoulders with Tsukishima in the hallway was inevitable, he told himself. The hallway was tiny, and neither of them were exactly the smallest. He wasn’t expecting it to feel electric, like he’d been shocked. 

Hours later, when Yamaguchi and Tsukishima were settled, and so were Hinata and Kageyama, the whole group of them headed out to the closest pizza place. Kuroo ordered them a pitcher of beer to go with the many pizzas they purchased, and the six of them laughed and complained together, rolling shoulders and stretching wrists dramatically. Hinata relayed everyone’s life plans unprompted, with only small corrections from the actual owner of said plans. The night came on quickly, but Kuroo didn’t want to leave. It was nothing like hanging with Bokuto and Akaashi, but he didn’t mind. Only Kenma’s small tug on his jacket reminded him that they were probably exhausted, and convinced him to stand up. 

“I gotta get this one home, and take a shower. I’m gross. See y’all later?” He said, stepping backwards towards the door.   
“We’ll head out too.” Tsukishima responded, standing up too. Kuroo locked eyes with him, smiling a little more than he was before.   
“We’ll walk with you. Same direction to the train station.” 

Shrugging out of his jacket and passing it to Kenma was second nature. There was never a time when they weren’t cold, and Kuroo was still warm from the beer and moving Kageyama’s huge couch up the stairs of the complex. (“Who doesn’t have a big enough elevator for ONE COUCH?” Kageyama grumbled.)   
Catching Tsukishima looking at his arms was new, though.   
And catching Tsukishima /blushing/ over being caught looking at his arms? Very new. 

“Well, you know my number. Text me if you need any more help… moving. Or passing time. Whatever.” Kuroo winked at Tsukishima, who glared at the window of his new apartment as Hinata hugged Kenma goodbye for the millionth time. 

As they wandered off, Kenma snuggled up closer to Kuroo.   
“Do you like him?” they asked, voice muffled into his side.   
“Like who, Hinata? He’s alright. A little annoying, but he’s always been like that.” he said nonchalantly, trying to stay calm.   
“No, Tsukishima. You look at him different.”   
“He… intrigues me.” Kuroo responded, now struggling to keep his tone light.   
“Mm.” Kenma didn’t say anything else. The train ride was quiet. 

Kuroo texted Tsukishima two days later.  
>>I gave a boy my number and he never texted back, what do you think it means?   
<>I got your number from chibichan, hope thats okay. he didnt seem to think youd mind  
<>who else?   
Kuroo didn’t try to hide his smile as his phone buzzed with a   
<>then maybe said boy should meet me for coffee. for texting lessons.  
<>decaf then  
<>I know where you live. put your shoes on, ill be there in ten.

Hopping off the train buzzing with energy, he didn’t even try to stop himself from jogging lightly to the apartment he had helped furnish.   
“I realize how weird “I know where you live” sounds now that I’m here” he said after the door swung open to reveal a tall blond in a dinosaur t shirt. “But it’s too late now.”   
“It’s whatever.” Tsukishima replied, closing and locking the door behind him.   
“No freckles?” Kuroo asked, walking down the hall and brushing his hand on the low ceiling.   
“He’s still in Miyagi for a few more weeks. He just moved when I did for ease of renting.”   
“Ah, apartment to yourself, hm?” Kuroo waggled his eyebrows at the tall blond, then realized how it probably sounded. “Have any cute boys over yet?”   
Tsukishima just raised an eyebrow.   
“Okay, okay, no gentleman callers. Well, then, someone had to get you out of the house. You could have texted me.” Kuroo put his hands up, feigning innocence, and led the taller boy out into the night. 

The diner was, unsurprisingly, almost entirely vacant. They sat at a booth, sipping coffee, Tsukishima ordering a strawberry shortcake that he got very crabby about Kuroo stealing a strawberry off of. Kuroo didn’t try to hold in his laughter, and glowed a little when Tsukishima cracked a smile, too. 

It was late when they finally paid their bill and stepped back out into the humid summer night. It was quiet. Most people had retreated to their homes and fans at this point, but Kuroo worked late most nights, and wasn’t bothered by the night. He pranced down the middle of the street, spinning with his arms out at his side, head tipped back.   
“You’re gonna get hit by a car.” Tsukishima griped, but his tone lacked annoyance. He almost sounded amused.   
“Let them hit me. Pay my tuition.” Kuroo dropped his arms and stared Tsukishima in the face. “Where to?”   
“You tell me.” He replied.   
“Ah, cheeky. I like it.” Kuroo walked towards Tsukishima, stepping back up the curb to get just a little bit closer than he maybe should have.   
“Do you now” Tsukishima breathed, tilting his head just slightly to the side.   
Kuroo hummed lightly. He wasn’t used to looking up at people, but found that it gave him a very good angle to stare up through his lashes.   
“Then I think I know where we’re going.” Tsukishima was the one to take Kuroo by the hand this time and pulling him back down the street. It didn’t take more than a moment for him to realize where he was being led. 

They didn’t talk, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Somehow, he didn’t feel the need to fill this silence. Normally he chattered on, but this was.. Okay. 

Tsukishima didn’t let go of his hand when he pulled out his keys, nor when he pulled him inside and closed the door behind them. The apartment actually looked habitable, which surprised Kuroo.   
“All this in two days?” He asked, gesturing to the furniture, posters on the walls, and stocked kitchen.   
“Nothing better to do.” Tsukishima said, dropping his hand as he stepped into the tiny kitchen.   
“Right, right. No gentleman callers. I remember.” Kuroo teased, following him. The blond was pouring wine into two glasses, turning around to hand one to him.   
Kuroo took a sip and leaned against the counter, looking up at Tsukishima to gauge his reaction.   
“Just the one, so far.” Tsukishima replied, stepping closer and leaning down, looming over Kuroo in his new, shorter position. 

To say that he put his drink down would be somewhat of a softening of the truth, but he didn’t really drop it either. Either way, it was in his hand and then it was on the counter and his hands were in Tsukishima’s hair and then Tsukishima’s glass was out of his hands too and they were on Kuroo’s hips and they were kissing, kissing, but slow and steady this time. Gone was the desperation and anger of the last time around. This was soft, and Kuroo almost sighed into it, feeling himself drift closer to Tsukishima.   
Then he was straightening up, getting his feet under him, and Tsukishima was pulling him, walking backwards into the bedroom that was no longer as empty as it was the first time they’d gone in. Kuroo followed eagerly, not protesting when Tsukishima swung him around and pushed him backwards to the bed. He shuffled back a little, closing his knees to let the other straddle over him, and bracing himself with one arm while resting the other on Tsukishima’s face.   
“You probably can’t see without these, can you?” he teased a little, fidgeting with the glasses obscuring the golden-brown eyes in front of him.   
“Do I need to?” Tsukishima retorted, pulling them off and tossing them to the side before pushing Kuroo down to the bed.

No, he guessed he didn’t, Kuroo thought, before all coherent thought was wiped away by the blond on top of him. 

Waking up next to Tsukishima Kei could possibly be the cutest thing that had ever happened to Kuroo, he thought. His hair was mussed, long legs tangled between Kuroo’s own, light marks on his face from the pillow and dark ones down his neck from Kuroo’s teeth. He didn’t fare any better, he was sure. But he didn’t regret it at all. The sun shone through the window and Kuroo pushed up slightly on his arm to block the light from shining into the blond’s eyes. 

Minutes passed, peacefully. 

Tsukishima woke slowly, and Kuroo smiled as he blinked the sleep from his eyes and sat up, not hurrying to pull his legs away from Kuroo’s.   
“Good morning, sunshine.” Kuroo murmured, now looking up at him, resisting the urge to sit up and kiss him.   
“Don’t patronise me. Are you leaving?” Tsukishima pulled his legs away and swung them over the side of the bed, grabbing his glasses and making to stand up.   
“Wait, hold up.” Kuroo reached out and snagged his wrist, pulling him back to the bed. “Why would I leave?” 

“Everyone knows you’re a massive flirt, but you never stay. And everyone knows that I’m an asshole that nobody likes. Now I’d like it if you left before this goes too far.” Tsukishima yanked his wrist away, trying to break Kuroo’s hold on it, but it was strong.   
“Hey, four eyes. Look at me. Keep the glasses on.” Kuroo pulled back, gently. Tsukishima turned around, a bite of anger on his face.   
“I will leave if you want me to. But I liked… I like being here. I liked last night. I liked your company.” Tsukishima blinked, unmoving.   
“Maybe you are an asshole. But so am I. And you seem to understand me. And I like your presence. And I like talking to you. So yeah, maybe I’m a flirt, and maybe you’re an asshole, but I have to disagree with the second half of both of those, because I like you, and I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.” 

Tsukishima just blinked. 

“I may have made a fool of myself just now, actually. So maybe I’ll go.” Kuroo chuckled nervously, letting go of the wrist he was still holding and making to stand up. His shirt was somewhere on the floor, he knew.   
But then there were hands on his shoulders and lips on his and he was falling back onto the bed but not alone, they fell together like puzzle pieces clicking. 

It wasn’t until much later that they made their way to the kitchen for coffee. 

Suddenly, so suddenly he almost didn’t note when it had happened, it became normal for him to stop by Tsukishima’s on the way back from work, sometimes sleeping over, sometimes not. The blond worked night shifts at a convenience store and practiced with Kageyama and Hinata and some other former Karasuno players in the afternoon, so he had mornings off and could sleep in with him. When they both had a day off, they lay in bed all day, enjoying each other’s company. And when they couldn’t sleep, they wandered the city late at night, taking it all in. 

And it became a habit. They walked down the street, sometimes hand-in-hand, sometimes bickering, sometimes in silence. It came easy, with him. It was easy being together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did this in a day. Apparently you CAN rush love.


	3. Easy Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets explicit at the end. I'll put stars. It ends at the end of the chapter. Sorry mom. (It's not really that plot-relevant, though, so you can ignore it.)

It didn't stay easy.  
School started up, sticky summer melted into crisp autumn, and responsibilities started to pile up. Tsukishima had practice (what felt like) constantly, and when he wasn't playing or studying or sleeping, he was cranky and tired. Or he was off and Kuroo was working. Sometimes, when he was up to it, he visited Kuroo at the bar. Kuroo messed up more drinks than usual when Tsukishima was there, so he could “oops” and slide them to his blond boyfriend across the bar. Tsukishima would smile and take the drink, but was careful not to express too much. Kuroo had a strategy for tips, and all of it had to do with the fact that he was tall, dark, and handsome. 

But despite Tsukishima's moods and Kuroo’s own hectic schedule tiring him out, he wouldn't give it up for anything. Waking up next to Tsukishima, sighing into his mouth in the alley behind his work on his breaks, cheering him on during matches that he wished he could be involved in, and sitting side by side in the same cafe they first visited together… Kuroo cherished every moment. 

Something about Tsukishima drew Kuroo in, like gravity pulling him back. Even if Tsukishima was working on homework with Yamaguchi in silence, Kuroo wanted to be leaning his back against the couch next to Tsukishima’s legs scrolling through his phone. Having his presence nearby was comforting, reminding Kuroo that he did still like him. Tsukishima checked in by occasionally brushing a hand through Kuroo's hair, and Kuroo pressed into the hand on his head in response. Tsukishima wasn't talkative, usually, but he would crack a small smile at Kuroo nuzzling into his hand like a cat.

One particularly difficult day, after a rough practice and before a test he was sure he would fail, Tsukishima stormed into Kuroo's apartment and threw his bag down before turning to Kuroo and shoving his shoulders.   
“What the fuck, Glasses?” Kuroo asked, taking a step back.   
“No, what the fuck yourself, Kuroo! Do you even want this? Do you even like me at all?” Tsukishima retorted, shoving Kuroo again.   
Ah, this again, Kuroo thought.   
“What do you mean?” He asked, knowing full well what he was going to say.   
“You don't have to undress every customer at the bar with your eyes to make them drinks. It's not part of your job description to constantly look like you're looking for someone to replace me.” Tsukishima took a step forward, chest puffed and eyes full of anger.   
Kuroo knew what he was doing. He did this when he was really upset. Starting fights they'd had a million times before just to get a rise out of Kuroo.   
But it worked. Kuroo knew exactly how this would end, just like it did every time.   
“No, you know what? Fuck that. You knew how it was going to be. I'm a flirt. You have to accept that.” Kuroo shoved him back, holding his ground. There was only a foot or so behind him before he would hit the bed, he needed to conserve space.  
“You're a fucking slut. You know that?” Tsukishima took another step forward, forcing Kuroo to take one of his own. “A fucking WHORE. You do it for the money and nothing else. Do you know how lame that is? Embarrassing. Pathetic.” He kept advancing, Kuroo retreating slowly. He was starting to feel the anger rise in him. He growled, showing his teeth and shoving his face closer to Tsukishima's.   
“Yeah, maybe I am. Is that a fucking problem? The door’s behind you, fucker.”   
Tsukishima didn't even reply, he just grabbed the front of Kuroo's shirt and shoved him back onto the bed, climbing onto him and biting his neck. Kuroo shuddered and pressed up into it, grabbing the back of Tsukishima's shirt to keep him in place as he ground up into him. 

Hours later, aggression and energy spent, Tsukishima blinked at Kuroo from the pillow next to him.   
“I'm... sorry. You know I don't…” he started, visibly uncomfortable.  
“I know. It's okay.” Kuroo replied, closing his eyes and leaning his head on top of Tsukishima's blond one.   
“No, it's not okay. I shouldn't-” he started again.  
“Ah, but you did, and it's over.” Kuroo cut him off, shuffling a little closer and pressing his sweaty body closer to his boyfriend. “Babe, no offense, but we've been doing this for months. I know.” He pressed a kiss to the top of the taller boy’s head, pulling him into his chest.   
“Ugh, Kuroo, you’re gross. Don’t touch me.” Tsukishima protested, pushing away from his chest, struggling gently. Kuroo laughed and locked his arms around his shoulders.   
“Nope! You made me sweaty, you get to deal with my gross body.” he laughed, throwing a leg over Tsukishima’s waist to hold him in place.   
“God, you’re so annoying.” Tsukishima wiggled downwards, but Kuroo grabbed him and in one fluid movement had him flat on his back on the bed, Kuroo pinning him down. He smirked, staring down at him through hooded eyes.   
“Oops. Too slow, little crow.” Tsukishima just blinked at him, not admitting defeat, but not struggling anymore.   
“What’s the matter,” Kuroo leaned in close and nibbled up Tsukishima’s neck, purring into his ear “Cat got your tongue?” He nipped Tsukishima’s earlobe, chuckling slightly as he turned his head farther to the side, granting better access to his neck. Tsukishima really pretended he didn’t want this, a loss of control, a relinquishing of power. But there was no way he could hide how much he liked it when Kuroo fought for, and earned, dominance over a situation. 

“Now are you going to keep your hands still or am I going to have to get something to restrain you?” Kuroo murmured, sitting up and releasing Tsukishima’s wrists.   
Tsukishima didn’t say anything, just reached slightly up to grab the bars of the headboard.   
“Attaboy. Now stay.” Kuroo added just a tinge of a command to his voice, then smirked at Tsukishima. His pupils were huge, his eyes already half-closed. Kuroo kissed his way down Tsukishima’s body, biting slightly at spots he knew were sensitive, biting harder at spots he knew he could mark. Tsukishima was quiet, he always was, but gasped at the softer bites and hissed at the harder ones. 

*****

He was hard, of course, by the time Kuroo reached his inner thighs. Didn’t mean Kuroo was going to be kind about it, though.   
He teased, licking around and under, breathing gently into the crease where his thigh met his hip, hands holding on to the bones he could so prominently feel when Tsukishima lay back like this. Tsukishima whined very quietly, twitching up into it, and Kuroo tightened his fingers.   
“Someone’s impatient.” He teased, glancing up at the blond. He was staring down towards Kuroo, eyes slightly unfocused, glasses nowhere to be found. He huffed, clamping his lips together.   
“Good quiet boy, Kei.” Kuroo breathed. They hadn’t really made a habit of first names, but Tsukishima hadn’t expressed any ill feeling towards it in private. His hands tightened and loosened on the bars of the bed, but he didn’t move them. 

When Kuroo finally decided to stop teasing and sunk his mouth over Tsukishima, he was expecting the jolt of his hips upward into Kuroo’s mouth. He didn’t draw back, but he squeezed his hands, still on Tsukishima’s hips, as a warning. He pulled in a shuddering breath that Kuroo almost felt, and relaxed back onto the bed with a long sigh. Kuroo hummed a little and nodded, knowing Tsukishima could feel it. 

He kept his movements slow and his suction gentle, not wanting to end it too fast. Tsukishima shifted a little, but didn’t move his hands when Kuroo put a forearm across his hips and added his hand, matching the rhythm of his head with it. As his movements got faster, though, and Tsukishima got twitchier, suddenly his hands came down to grip Kuroo’s hair.  
“Ah, bad move, baby bird,” Kuroo breathed, pulling off. Tsukishima whined, eyes opening and jaw clenching at the sudden chill. Kuroo blew a slow breath over Tsukishima’s length, still holding his hips down with one arm, while he wiped his other hand on the bedspread. They’d need to wash it anyways, he thought to himself idly. 

Climbing back off the bed and pulling an old shoebox from his closet, he turned to see Tsukishima’s wide eyes staring at him. His hands were back on the bedframe, apology in his face.   
“No, Kei, you broke the rule.” he said, pulling out the soft leather handcuffs and disconnecting the chain between them. “Now I have to restrain you.” He wrapped the leather around the blond’s thin wrist, buckling it on the tightest setting and doing the same for the other one. Then he threaded the chain through the bars and clipped the two together.   
“You can still hold.” Kuroo instructed. “Do I need to do your ankles too?”  
Tsukishima glowered for a moment, then shook his head no.   
“I’m trusting you. Don’t kick me.” Kuroo smiled, swooping in to bite Tsukishima’s collarbone before shuffling slowly backwards, back down to his groin. It was cold, and slightly sticky from his spit, but damn if Kuroo was going to stop. 

Instead of teasing, he dived in, loosening his throat as much as he could and swallowing down the cough that his body so desperately wanted to choke out. Tsukishima responded immediately, back arching and fingernails scrabbling on the wood, but Kuroo’s arm held his hips in place. He breathed slowly through his nose, letting his body relax and swallow despite the foreign object in his throat, and traced his fingertips up and down through the light hair under Tsukishima’s belly button. He was writhing and thrashing now, pulling against the restraints, but Kuroo was strong and, more importantly, heavy, and the blond’s lower body wasn’t moving until he decided it could. 

Adding his hand back and pulling back to just holding slightly more than just the head, Kuroo started up a good rhythm again. It wasn’t hard to figure out when Tsukishima was close, and Kuroo would pull off every time, letting him cool down before starting up again. A few breaks later and Tsukishima was almost crying, broken whimpers following every gasp for air. Kuroo recognized the desperation. 

When Tsukishima finally came, shuddering into Kuroo’s mouth, he didn’t pull off. He sunk his head down again, swallowing and gripping both of Tsukishima’s hips with his hands, fingertips pressed into the bone to hold him down to the bed. Sucking hard and bobbing his head slowly, even as Tsukishima whined and thrashed, almost crying out in overstimulated pain, kuroo hummed deep in his throat. The choked gasp that Tsukishima let out was one of the more satisfying sounds he’d ever heard, Kuroo thought to himself. Tsukishima kept twitching, pulling away and kicking his legs weakly, finally dropping flat to the bed, all of his muscles tight but still. 

Kuroo pulled off slowly, dragging his tongue on the way up, closing his sore jaw at long last. The blond was shuddering uncontrollably, weakly pulling against the handcuffs.   
“I’m gonna take these off, okay?” Kuroo placed his clean hand over Tsukishima’s racing heart and unclipping the handcuffs so Tsukishima could pull his arms down. Tsukishima only slightly moved his arms, so Kuroo slowly pulled them down, taking the strain off of his shoulders. 

“You did well.” Kuroo breathed into Tsukishima’s ear, sliding an arm under his body to cradle his head on his shoulder. Tsukishima shuffled slightly closer, his breathing already evening out.   
Kuroo took a corner of the sheet and wiped his hand, then Tsukishima, clean of the majority of his spit before reaching carefully over to his phone. He set their alarm slightly earlier than usual, then put it carefully back onto the table next to the bed. They could shower in the morning, he thought, before drifting off next to his angry blond. 

He wouldn't have him any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who skipped my shit, it ends with them just going to sleep. Nothing too life-changing.   
> Anyway, love y'all, don't judge me, I didn't come here for prayers and bible verses and I hope you didn't either.   
> Stay tuned for heartbreak! xoxo


	4. Comfortable/Adrenaline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fall into routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comfortable is a really short song and I really like writing Kenma so it got really repetitive. But I'm not even sorry. That's how much I love Kenma.

It was winter and Kenma was on the couch, bundled against the cold that Kuroo could barely feel. Kuroo stared at them, huddled in a blanket, long hair swept to one side with the tiny blond tips just barely brushing their shoulder. Kuroo had tried to get them to cut it, but they insisted they liked the length, and would cut the blond off when they felt like it.   
“You're staring at me again” they said, not looking up from their tablet.  
“Maybe. Is that a crime?” Kuroo replied, turning away, slightly defensive.   
“No, I just. Noticed. It's fine.” Kenma kept their eyes on the screen in front of them, squinting at it before twirling the tablet pen in their hand and going back to sketching slowly. 

Kuroo redirected his eyes to the window. 

“Tsukishima is gone for the weekend, no?” Kenma brought up casually.  
“Yeah, tournament in another prefecture. I forget where, but they're staying there.” Kuroo tried not to think about it. He'd become very used to spending all of his free time with the blond. “I guess you have to deal with me instead.”  
“Mm” Kenma nodded a little, eyes glued to the screen still. “Fine with me” they mumbled. Then, something that sounded like “Change of pace”  
“Huh?” Kuroo responded, confused.   
“Hm?” Kenma hummed, now very clearly forcing their casual tone.   
“I didn't get that last part.”   
“Not important.” Kenma said.   
Kuroo shuffled closer and reached for Kenma, who flinched back.   
“Hey, I think everything you have to say is important.” He said, withdrawing his hand slightly and opting to place it on their shoulder instead. Their eyes flickered to his hand on their shoulder, then to his face, then away again.   
“You just spend a lot of time with him now. It's fine, he's your boyfriend. I get it.” Their voice was casual, quiet, but their body was tense.   
“Kenma, you've been my best friend for how many years? I can tell when something is wrong.” Kuroo said, gentling his voice as if he was speaking to a small child, or a wild animal he was afraid would spook at any moment. “Why didn't you say anything?”  
“Shouyou said it was normal. That you'd come back.” Kenma mumbled.   
“I never went anywhere, Ken-chan. And I won't. Just tell me next time, okay?” Kuroo squeezed their shoulder, then stood up.   
“I'm making tea.” he announced, leaning down to kiss them on the forehead before wandering off to the kitchen. 

The weekend passed quickly, Kenma showing Kuroo his newest game, which Kuroo immediately sucked at, and Kuroo dragging Kenma out on Saturday night. (“I just want to get my paycheck from work, you'll live. I'll make you a Shirley Temple and steal extra cherries for you.” he'd said, forcibly putting Kenma’s arms into their jacket.) It was a good time, and Kuroo realized he HAD really missed spending time with Kenma. 

“Do you miss him?” Kenma said, laying with their head in Kuroo's lap, watching him die over and over on his game.   
“Huh?” Kuroo jumped a little. It had been an hour since Kenma had spoken, he had assumed he was asleep. “Wh-well, yeah, sure I do.”   
“Of course.” Kenma murmured. “He's back tonight?”   
“Yep. I'll pick him up from the train station later.”  
Kuroo thought about it. He kept playing the game, the routine of falling off the same ledge and dying somewhat soothing.   
He'd missed Tsukishima's company, absolutely, but… Kenma's question had thrown him off more than he expected. 

Did he really miss Tsukishima himself? 

Hours later, game and Kenma abandoned, Kuroo stress-paced around the train station. He could feel himself doing it, being neurotic and stressy, and he hated it. This wasn’t what he was like, this wasn’t who he was. But here he was, anxiously checking his phone for the fiftieth time, wondering where the train was. 

Was he excited? Or nervous?

“We lost,” Tsukishima said as greeting, finally stepping off the train after his teammates.   
“I heard.” Kuroo responded, stepping closer and bumping Tsukishima’s shoulder with his own as he grabbed a bag from him. He knew better than to try to kiss him in public, but he’d missed him. Or something. 

“It was close though. Their spiker was strong. I only blocked a few.” Tsukishima continued.   
“Did you try to block them all?” Kuroo teased, smirking at him.   
“Fuck you. At least I kept playing, instead of giving up after high school.” Tsukishima retorted, falling silent. Kuroo didn’t have anything to say. 

Yamaguchi was home, and he sprang up at the sight of his blond roommate, but shrank a little when Kuroo followed him in. He knew it was coming, but it never got easier. Yamaguchi being afraid of him was normal, but unwelcome. 

“Hi, Tsukki! How was the game? I saw that you lost, but you played great! Yachi and I watched the whole thing. I saw you talking to the other team’s setter, did you get any good advice from him?” Yamaguchi rattled off, still bouncing on the balls of his feet as Tsukishima stepped out of his shoes and walked off to his room. Kuroo followed his boyfriend, nodding a little in apology as Tsukishima ignored Yamaguchi entirely. 

Talking to another team’s setter wasn’t anything to worry about. 

Or so he told himself. 

Kuroo didn’t like walking on eggshells around his own boyfriend, but suddenly their banter was full-on fights. They’d bonded over being… well, kind of assholes. And now, instead of being assholes together, they were being assholes to each other. 

Kuroo didn’t know how to make it better. 

They met up in the evenings, Kuroo even shifting his work schedule to fit Tsukishima’s better. They walked, they drank coffee, they fucked each other into the mattress, roommate situation allowing, and they woke up next to each other. But something was off. 

Kuroo couldn’t help but feel like they’d fallen into a routine, that he was boring Tsukishima, that somehow this was holding him back from what he really wanted to do, and he hated… everything about it. 

“Kei, are you… bored?” Kuroo asked, hesitantly, laying on the bed next to the blond.   
“We just fucked. I’m more tired than anything.” Tsukishima responded, still staring at the ceiling.   
“No, I mean, like, with me.” Kuroo stared at the side of his head. He hated talking about his feelings.   
“I have no idea what you’re asking me. Stop being a dumbass.” Tsukishima closed his eyes. 

“Kuroo, you’re overthinking it.” Sugawara said, his gentle voice soothing in the quiet coffee shop. “Of course couples fall into routine. It’s not settling, it’s just how things are. The rush wears off, but it doesn’t mean you don’t love him anymore. Unless it does.”   
Kuroo sighed, head in his hands. Sugawara had been the only person he could think of who was in a stable long term relationship that he could trust, but somehow it wasn’t making him feel any better. 

“I know, I just… Don’t know. Something’s got me on edge, and I wish I wasn’t.”   
“Communication is key, Kuroo. If he ways nothing is wrong, you gotta believe him. And if you don’t, reevaluate. But mostly, I just want you to relax. Things work out!” Sugawara squeezed his arm lightly, smiling his signature warm, sunny smile at him. 

Kuroo didn’t feel very relaxed at all, but he thanked Sugawara and paid the tab before letting him get back to work. 

Not very relaxed. At all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah boiz it's sad time!! Stay tuned for MORE SAD TIME!!! WOOOO


	5. Paranoid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuroo thinks.  
> Too much.  
> And maybe he panics a little bit, but that's beside the point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was too close to home and I literally had to stop writing(: cool

Kei wasn’t a graceful sleeper, but Kuroo watched him anyway. He wasn’t tired, and he had nothing better to do than lay there anxiously. He was full of thoughts, none of them good, and his stomach turned as he stared down at the perfectly relaxed blond next to him. 

He was so good, Kuroo thought to himself. So, so good. Kuroo loved him. He was sure of it. It consumed him, filled his thoughts and made him want to cry when he thought about how much BETTER Kei was. College, career, future. Friends. Talent.  
And Kuroo, what did he have? The bar, Kenma… He didn’t even play volleyball anymore, really. 

What was Kei thinking about, when he was silent? Kuroo filled silences, but… did Kei want him to? 

Kei stirred, waking up, and Kuroo shut his own eyes. If he pretended to be asleep, he could push off the questions, the conversation, the… whatever was going to happen.

Kuroo had work. Kei had class. It was normal. Kuroo smiled at Kei, leaning closer for a kiss before he left, and Kei obliged without comment. 

Somehow it didn’t make Kuroo feel any better. 

Hearing the door close behind his blond boyfriend was like hearing a jail cell close, or the last thunk of a drawbridge going up, or the supports of a bridge break, or some other equally dramatic thing that Kuroo could imagine happening. He didn’t want to, didn’t think he was going to freak out, but then suddenly he was seated on the kitchen floor in a ball with his knees drawn up to his chest and his fist to his mouth. He didn’t cry, just stared silently at the door, breathing shallowly.  
Kenma finds him there.  
“Come on, you gotta get up. Where’s your phone?” Kenma asks, patting Kuroo’s pockets. “I’m texting your boss. I can’t lift you, Kuro, you’ll have to stand up on your own. Couch. Go.” 

Kuroo doesn’t know why Kenma is responding like this. He’s fine, he’s just…  
His legs didn’t work. Okay. Maybe that was why.  
Oh, no, wait, maybe it was that his hands were trembling and he could barely take a breath in. Okay, maybe THAT was it. 

“Kuro, Kuro, come on, focus. Do you need water?” Kenma was in front of him again, their tiny hands on either side of his face. He tried to focus on their face, black hair framing it, blond tips almost brushing his shoulders as they leaned over him. His eyes darted away from the concern on their face, jumping around the kitchen, looking for something to focus on.  
“I have to break up with him.” Kuroo rasped, surprised at his own voice and the way it sounded like he’d been in a desert for years.  
“What the fuck, Kuro. You’re having a panic attack and THAT’S what you go to?” Kenma hops up, grabbing a cup and swishing water around in it before filling it from the tap and shoving it into his hands. He takes a sip automatically, clutching it in both hands to stop it from spilling onto his knees. 

“You’re not going to break up with Tsukishima. You love him.” Kenma said, gently, fluidly falling into a sitting position in front of him, legs crossed.  
“I know I love him. He shouldn’t love me, though. He can’t. It’ll hold him back. I’ll hold him back. I’m holding him back.”  
Kenma placed their hands on the outside of his thighs, rubbing up and down gently.  
“Okay, okay, drink your water. What makes you think that? Kuro, he literally wears that stupid bracelet you bought him every day.” Kenma pointed out.  
“I don’t know. You don’t know. Something is wrong, Kenma. Something is wrong and I can’t figure out what it is but it’s OFF something is WRONG and I’m freaking the fuck out!” Kuroo can’t slow down his words, they’re pouring out and he’s not crying but maybe he should be, the words feel like tears spilling over and he’s really, really shaking now.  
Kenma scoots closer, tapping his legs apart and putting their own over his, pulls his head down, and just holds him as he breathes into their shoulder. 

It’s a moment before his breathing slows. The smell of Kenma’s hair, the gentle presence of their arms around his neck and their legs over his own, their slow heartbeat… it pulls him back. Grounds him. He feels himself calming down, his hands and the glass of water that he somehow managed not to spill sitting in his lap.  
“There you go, see? Even breaths.”  
Kuroo realizes that Kenma has probably been talking to him the whole time. He shifts back guiltily, and Kenma lets go of his shoulders to let him. 

“Maybe drink some more water?” Kenma says gently, a hint of question, like they’re not going to push him.  
“Yeah, okay.” Kuroo drags a long drink from the cup, wincing a little at how tepid it is. He didn’t realize how thirsty he was, and takes another drink, draining it.  
“Good. More?” Kenma withdraws their legs.  
“No, no I’m… fine.”  
Kenma nods.  
Kuroo forces himself to look up at Kenma.  
“Thank you.” He says, awkward but genuine, and Kenma looks away.  
“It’s fine. You could text your boss again, if you want to go in, but I told him you weren’t coming because you were sick.”  
“I don’t…” He’s not sure what he wants to say. He doesn’t want to lose out on the shift, he needs the money, but he’s also not sure he can deal with people right now. And god knows he doesn’t make the same money when he’s not in his right mind. There IS a way to get tips and this isn’t it.  
“You shouldn’t. Can you walk now?” Kenma asks, pinkness sitting high on their cheeks as they stand and reach for Kuroo’s elbows to help him up. He unfurls himself, pressing back against the counter he’d slid down to avoid putting too much weight into Kenma’s hands. 

He’s seated silently on the couch for about half an hour before his phone buzzes, a text from Hinata. He usually ignores him, but this time curiosity gets the better of him and he opens it. It just says “r u ok?” and he stares at it for a moment before responding “ya, im good” and considers throwing his phone across the room.  
>>jus making sure!!! Kenma said u were freaking out so i thought id ask to make sure everything is ok if theres anything u need u can always ask me!!!  
>>um  
>>i mean  
>>yeah!!! u can just text me  
Kuroo sighs at the stream of consciousness coming from Hinata. He knows that he’s a little afraid of him, maybe a little in awe, but they’ve been getting better ever since Hinata and Kenma became… whatever they were.  
<

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paranoid is a big mood and I don't want it to be. Here's hoping y'all aren't experiencing the same big mood. (If you are, hmu on tumblr so we can cry together i'm fragile-euphoria)

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all know I thrive off of validation. Kudos and comments are my lifeblood. Thanks for reading! Love ya!


End file.
